1 post tagged “gps”

I had a great new product idea in the shower today.

You know those newfangled GPS navigation systems?  They're great.  You wheel around town and a prim female voice tells you how to get to point B.  My friend has one that also tells him what a bad driver he is.

"Turn left in 15 feet... ...  You were supposed to turn left.  Prepare to make a U-Turn in 500 feet."

It's GPS with a 'tude!  But why stop there?  GPS voices could be humorous.  They could boost self esteem.  They could enforce discipline.

So I'm thinking: politically incorrect GPS voiceover expansion packs.

Insecure drivers could install Raymundo the Fabulous on their Jettas:

“Oh gorgeous, you’ve missed a left turn!  You’re so silly.  Who's silly?  You are, and it's just delicious darling!  Just make a U-y up ahead.  You’re fabulous, absolutely fabulous!”

Narcoleptic drivers can install Kaji the Agitated Japanese Businessman on their Chryslers:

“Prease to turn reft.  Ah, yes.  Yes.  Reft here.  Yes.  Reft… I SAID TURN REFT!!  BAKUDAI II KAGEN SHIROO!”

Excitable teenage delinquents could install Elizabeth the Sultry Prostitute on their twinked-out low-riders:

“You know what would get me hot?  A left turn on Broadway.  Mmm, yes.  Turn left on Broadway you big stud.”

Christians can tune into Gospel Gary:

“The good lo’ sez to turn left.  Left leads to the kingdom of heaven.  Hallelujah!  You turn right, you turn away from the lo’, you may end up somewhere you don’t want to be.  Amen!”

Concerned parents could install Repressive Indian Father on their teenagers’ Honda Civics.  Soccer moms could install Donald Duck on their SUVs.

You feel me?

Someone back me up here.